I support a Constitutional amendment saying that corporations are not people and they do not have the right to spend money to buy our politicians.
I watched this film in a theater in Springfield, MO whilst curled up in a tight ball, tucked deep into the folding crack of a cushy, purplely-plush chair and my immune system wrecking havoc upon my pancreas.
(Now, perhaps it was just an upset belly, but it wasn’t too long thereafter (less than a year) that I was in a hospital being diagnosed with Type I – just sayin’. )
So, Blair Witch, though I think you’re a great film (and man, was I ever sucked into the internet marketing for it), I have to warn the world about your diabetic-inducing tendencies.
Be warned, world!
Available in the collection ‘Demonic Possession’: http://www.amazon.com/Demonic-Possession-James-Ward-Kirk-ebook/dp/B00LGWQH1M
Here are 5 other things you need to know about chorizo:
- Chorizo’s original name was Spicy Fucking Sausage.
- In ancient times, people sought to organize the world around them into fundamental elements, such as earth, air, fire, and chorizo.
- Chorizo flows downhill. In the southern hemisphere, however, chorizo flows my tears.
- The pigs from which chorizo is harvested undergo a strict training regimen to ensure a consistent product. This training includes, but is not limited to: two-finger push-ups, burpees, one-armed ab rollers, and repeated readings of ‘The Celestine Prophecy’.
- Never expose chorizo to bright light (especially sunlight, which will kill it); never get it wet; and, most importantly: no matter how much it cries or begs, never, ever feed it after midnight.
I made something for you:
In no particular order:
The Knife, Shaking the Habitual
The only tracks I don’t like on here are the auditory experiments. My favorite track, which also seems the least Knife-like, may be “A Cherry on Top.” Haunting, yet compelling, like a body horror film re-imagined for your ears.
Run the Jewels, Run the Jewels
El P and Killer Mike. And, though El P does lay down some great lyrics (second verse on “Job Well Done” is near perfect), Mike is just on fire. This is from one of his verses on “Sea Legs”: There will be no reprieve for the thieves / There will be no respect for The Thrones / No master mastered these bones / Your idols all are my rivals / I rival all of your idols / I stand on towers like Eiffel, I rifle down all your idols. Go home, everyone else. Go home.
Autre Ne Veut, Anxiety
This is some space-age R&B music to have sex with robots to and features a falsetto that will crack the windows of your flying car.
Sky Ferreira, Night Time, My Time
I have had this album on repeat since it came out. Pitchfork’s Carrie Battan writes, “it’s one of the most pleasingly conventional and cohesive pieces of pop-rock to come along this year.” Couldn’t agree more.
Tim Hecker, Virgins
This is a record full of spectres and fog and candlelight. I recommend listening with headphones in a dark room while you reflect on how little time you have left on this earthly plane.
Natasha Kmeto, Crisis
Dance. Emote. Dance some more. Have a drink. Check the melody. Emptiness and love can coexist. Now dance a little more.
Jon Hopkins, Immunity
Glitches and twitches and all sorts of sound wavy sickness. This album creates quite an atmosphere for me to melt right into.
Fuck Buttons, Slow Focus
This album was my biggest surprise of the year. The opener, “Brainfreeze”, dug into me and didn’t let up. The whole thing is an experience. I’d like to see them do this record live from start to finish.
Arcade Fire, Reflektor
Yep, it’s a winner (although the song “Reflektor” is pretty icky). I think I like it overall better than The Suburbs but don’t feel there is any track as strong as “Sprawl II” from that earlier work and, admittedly, I haven’t spent as much time with it yet as I’d like to.
Charli XCX, True Romance
I truly am a sucker for (overly?) crafted pop. Help me.
I thought Give Up the Ghost was great and I think this record is even better. The vocals are a bit more comprehensible and the songs tighter. Good, good stuff.
Here is a link to the Spotify playlist.
You can (and should) download Run the Jewels for free here.
Aaaaaaaaand I think Yeezus is dumb.
Second, I’ll do you one better:
Boom! Happy Monday.
Thanks to those that came out and watched.
Everybody take your clothes off.